Ready, Get Set, Wait

My rabbi, Les Gutterman, has called me a few times to check in on how things are going with mom.  My answer yesterday was that she is the same, just that there is less of her.  She is rarely awake.  She eats sometimes, maybe two light meals a day at the most.  On Sunday, all she had was a glass of orange juice.  But her appetite jumped back up today and she ate a sandwich. A few days ago, when she had lost interest in eating, it seemed like she wanted to let death to come take her.  But then she got hungry and figuratively took back her seat at the table. The ping pong, down and up, out and in is so hard.  We think we are losing her and then she will bounce back - talking lucidly on the phone or singing with the music therapist.  But mostly, she lays on her hospital bed, newly set up in her den, mumbling constantly, unaware of anything beyond her reconcocted history that plays round and round in her head.  Rabbi describes this time as "Ready, Set, Wait".  We are, we are, we are.